Eye of the Tiger(s)
February 4, 2009 • 2:22 pm • POSTED BY brendan quinn
L to R: Brendan “The Mighty” Quinn, Ryan “R2B2″ Brown, Darryl “The Kid” Cilli, Chris Van Awesome (photo by Tom Ammon)
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Behold the Official, Fully Sanctioned, Legally Binding, FDA Approved, Confidential and Proprietary, Signed Sealed and Delivered 160ver90 Table Tennis Team.
We have a big — nay, huge — match against A Team That Shall Remain Nameless*, who will be on the business end of a full bore Cat o’ Nine Tails whupping this Friday. Meanwhile, the rest of our colleagues will be spectating, hooting, hollering, and popping Chex Mix and IPAs in their gullets as part of our weekly Beer Friday festivities.
In preparation for this epic tussle, the 160 Squad has been on a training bender that is ready-made for an 80s movie montage. So cue up the Survivor and take a gander at our training journal:
5:45 AM: Wake up
5:47 AM: Drink pint glass of fresh water buffalo blood
6: 00 AM: Run to Italian Market, use nearest animal carcass as speed bag
6:45 – 9 AM: Arrive at agency, play Ping Pong against one another
9AM – 12:30 PM: Advertise our asses off
12:30 PM: Eat entire tray of lasagna as lunchtime carb loading
1 PM: Belch loudly
1:01 PM: Post lunch/belch Ping Pong game
1:15 – 6:30 PM: Make bushels of money for our clients
6:31 – 9:30 PM: Ping Pong drills, practice and round robin tournaments
9:30 PM: Focused trash-talking drills with mutually agreed upon motif (i.e. “You’re momma is so fat…”)
9:45 PM: Dinner of Wild Boar, accompanied by intra-squad noogie session
10 – 11:45 PM: More Ping Pong, with the day’s poorest playing team member receiving brief waterboarding as penance
Midnight: Return home and continue vow of celibacy, following Mickey Goldmill‘s mantra of “Women Weaken Legs”
Next day: Lather, rinse, repeat.
* full disclosure: we don’t know their name. Or anything about them. Or if they’ll show up. But they’re real. Mike Park said so.
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FANTASTIC
A) Y’all look rough. Kinda like a “where are they now” photo of boy bands past. Naturally with Ryan playing the cute one (sorry Brendan).
B) Your “training schedule” is pretty much equal to Garcia’s daily routine with the exception of the celibacy, the lack of illustration-based genius, and the ritual sacrifice.
Best of luck, gentlemen.
It coulda been you, Smoke Break. It. Could. Have. Been. You.
Great team picture, and great schedule. ha
Awesome.
Why does Chris have the privilege of wearing a V neck shirt?! Is he the captain?
Darryl, Seriously? I would dismantle you in a ping pong game! I would be excommunicated for the whupping i’d put you through. Bring it on.