Intern Inferno 2k9: Round 2

July 24, 2009 • 2:59 pm • POSTED BY eArnold

To sum up Round 1, R Kelly said it best:

“Woman, move out my way” – R Kelly, Trapped in the Closet Ch.1 

 

With Round 1 of the Inferno finally over, and all the ladies knocked out,  it’s time to watch the actually talented ping pong playing interns, but not before reviewing the results from last week…

Results of Round 1 Week 2

Tyler “The Goon” Muldoon vs. Megan “Ed” McMahon

A true gentleman, Tyler allowed Megan one pity point before putting her in her place and ending her ping pong career. Citing multiple “Should have” excuses (I should have worn the sparkling headband, I should have listened to Jock Jams, I should have roofied him more), McMahon left the match with some harsh words about her opponent*, “Last time I checked [ping pong players] don’t wear fishnets and wigs”.

Unfazed by her comments, Tyler answered our questions. When asked how he felt about Mad Dog “killing” Liz in their match*, Tyler theorized, “I believe it was auto-erotica gone too far, which subsequently turned into a disturbing ninja homicide.”

Score:

Game 1: Tyler showed no mercy

Game 2: 11-1 Tyler

 

Mike “Mad Dog” Medoro vs. Liz “Thin Lizzy” Henry

The Joan of Arc of intern ping pong, Liz, donning a stunning sequined sweatband, stepped up as the last hope for a female champion. Rallying throughout both games, Liz held her own and even managed to take the lead at points. Unfortunately, her piece of flair was not enough to secure a win for herself, or the ladies.

When asked how he felt about Tyler’s kick-‘em-while-they’re-down pity point*, Mad Dog said, “[He is a] horrible human being with no compassion for other living things.” Looks like there may be some rancor, retaliation, and retribution in their Round 2 match.

Score:

Game 1: 11-5 Mike

Game 2: 11-4 Mike

 

Round 2 Match-Ups

Phil “Honeycomb” Holcombe vs. Mike “Suzuki Slim” Zwizanski

Fact about Phil: Phil has a narcissistically sentimental pump-up song he listens to twenty-seven times before every match. I believe that’s him sporting the baseball jersey and asymmetrical hi-top fade. Child music sensation? Fading skin pigmentation? This path looks familiar.

 

Mike “Mad Dog” Medoro vs. Tyler “The Goon” Muldoon

Fact about Tyler: Before becoming solo ping pong player “The Goon”, Tyler was part of a ping pong team that called themselves “The Goonies”. Known as a group of misfits who had an affinity for pirates, Tyler stood out with his tri-cornered hat and legendary battle cry. Luckily for Tyler, corrective lazy eye surgery and dentistry have improved leaps and bounds in the past 25 years.

 

 

 

 

 

*not original question