I Have Some Ideas

April 22, 2011 • 3:02 pm • POSTED BY jspradley

Well, it’s finally happening. The biggest restroom in Center City Borders downstairs is closing. And, unless you really really need 800 copies of “Wuthering Bites” at 40% off (it’s exactly what you think it is), this is a sad day. Nowhere will I be able to get books AND paper airplane kits in the same place. Nor will I have access to a mind-boggling assortment of quilting magazines, or The Office-themed calendars in, like, July. But that’s not the worst part. Nope, the worst part of this whole mess is the giant gaping, empty storefront that will now reside directly downstairs*.

But! Instead of harping on the awful, depressing shell of a storefront blighting Center City’s busiest intersection, I choose to dream. Dream about what the future holds for downstairs. Which is why I have painstakingly, for the next four minutes or so, crafted a list of some completely solid business ideas for one broad street’s anchor store space:

World’s largest KFC

Trampoline land

“Not Just Pizza”, Philadelphia branch

Giant patio suitable for summer drinking

Forever 38

Elephant Cakewalk

Amazon.com, but like, in physical form (how amazing would that be!)

Hat Depot, a depot for hats

Seriously guys, where can I drink outside in Philly this summer?

Dave & Busters Franchise

Lizard Museum, tentatively titled “House of ‘Zard”

Chuck E Cheese Franchise

Jon Hamm’s summer loft**

I’d be ok with two floors of skee-ball

Puppies

This was going to be the point in the blog entry where I suggest we all pool our tax returns and collectively make one of these failsafe businesses happen for realsies, (I was even going to leave a funny fake address where you could send the checks) but let’s face it. I’m pretty busy. I’d buy all the hats and then they’d just sit in the corner for a few months.

 

*and, you know. What it means for the future of publishing, blah blah blah jobs, etc.

**not technically a “business”