No Country For Fat Men.
April 28, 2011 • 5:39 pm • POSTED BY jyuh
Shortly after the picture was taken, the Phanatic had to give Mr. Met the heimlich. Unfortunately, he couldn't stop him from choking... again.
I am a Philadelphia Phillies fan. That means I love the Mets (I mean I love how much in shambles they are), love October, and love having the best 5-man rotation in the baseball. Yes, that’s right; I said 5-man rotation, not 4. With all the hoopla and hype surrounding our big 4, I thought I’d take a stand for the best 5th starter in baseball – the one and only Joe Blanton.
You see, as somewhat of a baseball purist, and one king-hell of a cynic, I’ve always hated these little nicknames given to our pitching staff. H2O was bad enough, but with the return of the prodigal lefty, Clifford Phifer Lee, it opened to floodgates to a whole new level of cutesy. And let me tell you, there’s no room for crying or cute in baseball. (Ask the coach of the Rockford Peaches, Jimmy Dugan).
When you miss the cut-off man, you deserved to get yelled at.
But what I hated even more about names like the Phantastic Phour or the Phearsome Phoursome or R2C2 was that it left out the all important 5th starter, Joe Blanton. See, Doc and Cliff only take the mound once every 5 days and Ryan Howard only gets to bat 4 or 5 times a game. (And plus, Cliff and Doc never hit a dinger in the World Series). In the meantime, you need not only good players to fill-in those gaps, but quality clubhouse guys who don’t have egos, who don’t complain, and who play ball the right way.
And that’s exactly what Joe Blanton is. He may not be the most dominant pitcher (except maybe when playing Edward Fortyhands), but he’s amazingly durable, having started at least 30 games each year from 2005 up until last year, where he missed the mark by a single start. He has a respectable career ERA in the low 4’s and will give you close to 200 innings pitched every year. And I imagine he’s what Babe Ruth used to look like when he pitched. And that’s the kind of guy Philadelphia should be able to get behind.
Back in the day, plump was beautiful in art.
That’s why I don’t support anything having to do with the Phillies staff that doesn’t include Joe Blanton. It’s also why there is only one name for the Phil’s staff that I find acceptable: Fat Joe and the Terror Squad. Not only does the name include our jolly Heavy B, but it’s also a beautifully random hip hop reference. I choose to stand by Joe because he doesn’t complain about being overlooked, because he was was a vital cog in our ’08 championship run, and because I’m pretty sure I saw him on The Biggest Loser the other week.
So for all the fans of the Phightins who overlook our portly 5th starter, and especially for Ryan Lawrence (the Phils beat-writer from the Delco Times who asked Cole Hamels what it felt like being the only starter with a World Series ring when Joey B was sitting a couple seats down on the panel,pictured below), this is a reminder that baseball is a team game. And with Heavy B taking on the back-end starters of most teams, he may end up being the difference maker down the stretch.
I wouldn't be laughing either if I was the Rodney Dangerfield of this staff.
So here’s to Fat Joe and the Terror Squad and another dangerous October riot through the streets of Philadelphia.
well stated. I feel the press writes it up this way, but many Phillie fan’s I know know it as the 5 man rotation, not the 4. Blanton is a great player and if anything can represent that Wild card that can make the difference in games later on down the line.
I may say its like Ruiz’s playing. Ruiz is one of those players that added so much to the world series win, and knows how to bat in tight situations. It hasn’t been until recently that hes getting that much attention.
to Fat Joe, and Ruiz.